Suicide Squad, Another “Fuck You” From Warner Bros.

After ages of hype the long-awaited Suicide Squad film opens this weekend.  I genuinely hope it’s good.  DC villains are the best.  Seriously, they’re so twisted. Regrettably, I’m really starting to lose all hope.  Aside from a few enthusiastic exceptions, the initial reviews have ranged from “Poor” to “Meh”.  Then, there was the whole issue of the 10 million dollars’ worth of re-shoots.  Or was it 20?  Depends on which source you don’t trust.   Despite all of that, Warner Bros has kept on their game face and acted pretty enthusiastic.  But there is one little thing I just can’t let go of…

The costumes.  Specifically, the women’s costumes.  The cheese cake factor looks like it’s through the fucking roof.  What the fuck, guys?  Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) looks like she works at Hooters in Mos Eisley. Are we really supposed to take that gear seriously?  How does she fight in that get up?  Does she distract the opposition with her tits and then hit them with her bat?  Did David Ayer really take a character as great as Harley and turn her into stroke material for adolescent fanboys?

I realize Harley Quinn had rather humble origins.  She made her first appearance on Batman: The Animated Series.  She became a fan favorite there and quickly found her way into the pages of anything DC could shoe horn her into. Somewhere along the way, she went from being the Joker’s ditzy sidekick/girlfriend and became a girl-power icon, albeit a damaged and demented one.  She’s actually, dare I say it, something of a role model for girls and young women.  She may be crazy but she’s strong and she gets things done (on occasion).

So, what is she going to do in the Suicide Squad film?  Give everybody lap dances?  Cheese and rice, look at this image.


She needs help just to climb up onto the hood of a car wearing those ridiculous shoes.  Now, I realize that actors in costume get assistance on the set all the time, but just look at those preposterous things.  The simple task of walking around on rough pavement would be a chore in that footwear!  How the hell is she supposed to fight in them let alone perform her famous gymnastics?  Is this a superhero film or a video on Fetlife?*

Enchantress (Cara Delevingne) doesn’t fare much better at the hands of the lascivious Mr. Ayers.  Her costume is a mashup of Red Sonja and the Mother of the Wendol from 13th Warrior. It’s all very Voodoo porn chic and very eye-catching but not particularly practical for black ops.  I’ve seen pictures of the SAS, SSG and Delta Force.  None of them gets naked for the really big missions.Enchantress

Now, don’t get me wrong, Margot Robbie and Cara Delevingne look just smashing.  Ms. Delevingne in particular is just stupidly hot.  But I don’t go to action adventure films for the T&A and I certainly don’t go to comic book movies look for stroke material.  This sort of low-balling is a slap in the face to female fans.  All it says is that women get to be in this film but only if they turn us on. It’s insulting to women and it only reinforces, for the whole world to see, the worst stereotypes about fanboys.  This sort of pandering devalues the genre as a whole and we should all demand better.  Warner Bros still doesn’t take its comic properties seriously nor, it seems, comic fans.  To them, we are a bunch of neckbeard losers, living in our parent’s basements, social awkward, unable to get dates; in essence, losers.  They figure we will put up with this sexist horse shit because most of us couldn’t pick a naked woman out of a lineup if you threw in a mop, a donut and a tribble.

He gets body armor. She gets a leather merkin.
He gets body armor. She gets a leather merkin.

DC Comic’s has over 75 years’ worth of rich storytelling legacy.  It’s time for Warner Bros to stop wiping its collective ass on it and give us the films that the source material merits.


*Don’t look that up if you aren’t 18.

R T Kraken!

Prior to becoming a professional curmudgeon and the Scourge of the Northern seas, R.T. Kraken worked as an artist and a photographer. He has been an avid comic book fan since he was spawned as well as an insufferable know-it-all.
He also sings for the Supra-70s band, RIFLE.
Dig it.

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